All the emotions happy emotions you feel, it's hard to think that it can just go at the click of a finger!

I could see in my partners eyes he was gutted, he just wanted to hold me but I wasn’t ready, I wasn’t ready to cry.

October 2016

Kelly

Already having a little girl from a previous relationship, after 2.5 years of being in a new relationship we decided to try for a baby, only took three months, the excitement of that moment you pee on a stick and it says those words..... pregnant.

All the emotions happy emotions you feel, it's hard to think that it can just go at the click of a finger!

After getting our bounty pack feeling rotten a sense of dread came over me I received my scan date in the post I feared I'd never make it!

Unsure of why I had this feeling maybe subconsciously I knew!

After a few more weeks at exactly 11+4 I wake up spotting slight cramps nothing to bad! My heart sank, after calling the hospital and hearing they were not concerned as a bit of blood is fine! This didn't rest with me!

My partner came home from work, I cancelled my clients and booked a private scan...... 70.00 later the lady confirmed an empty sac, it hit me I held it together.

I could see in my partners eyes he was gutted, he just wanted to hold me but I wasn't ready, I wasn't ready to cry.

The next few days went so fast and I was in and out of hospital, finally a week later I was given a treatment to help things along as unfortunately it wasn't simple.

We had had a missed miscarriage where your body holds on to the pregnancy, it never made it passed 6 weeks and I'd gone nearly another 6 weeks thinking I was pregnant.

After another long 7 weeks I didn't feel right I called the hospital, I was called in for a scan, part of the old pregnancy was still inside and I was rushed down with an emergency operation.

How can you be pregnant one day/gone the next heart breaking, that part of my life will never leave me, and although we are strong now as a couple was very hard to get through, hearing things happen for a reason is not what you want to hear.

However, the earth just wasn't ready for our angel and up in the sky he/she will be, or may not of been a baby but it was to us!

Communication is the key never stop talking!

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Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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