Simon and Ayshen Webbe share IVF and miscarriage journey during Baby Loss Awareness Week

Ayshen, 43 and Simon, 45, are partnering with Tommy’s during Baby Loss Awareness Week (9-15 October) to encourage others to open up, talk to loved ones, and seek support.  

An estimated 200,000 miscarriages happen in the UK each year. Tommy’s believes that talking about baby loss openly and honestly can help many people feel less alone in their experience.

Every year, Baby Loss Awareness Week is a special time for us to come together in remembrance of all the much-loved babies who died too soon while raising awareness of the thousands of families affected by loss each year.

Ayshen and Simon experienced 2 miscarriages and a failed round of IVF in the 2 years after marrying in 2018. In 2020 they welcomed daughter Cyan following a difficult pregnancy and birth during the Covid-19 pandemic.  

While trying for a sibling for Cyan they recently experienced another miscarriage and another unsuccessful frozen egg transfer.  

“It’s not been easy but we are still on this journey and trying to stay positive,” Ayshen says.

“What I really want to do is use my experience to raise more awareness. Tommy’s does this, which is so important. We need to raise awareness of miscarriage, of loss. 

"It’s important to talk to loved ones, and there are so many charities like Tommy’s that can support you. Please don’t go through it alone and in silence.”

The couple are urging people in their 30s to think about the future and research their options if they want to start a family. 

“Get yourself checked and consider all options like freezing your eggs - age really does catch up on you so fast. You never think it will happen to you,” says Ayshen.

Speaking to Hello! magazine ahead of Baby Loss Awareness Week, Ayshen discussed how her Turkish-Cypriot culture came with "not telling the world our business". But she says:

"Miscarriage is so common, and I want women to have the support that they desperately need. When I did talk about my miscarriages I couldn't believe how many females in my life had experienced it too... we were going through such trauma yet living life every day like we're fine." 

Tommy’s research has found that men and non-birthing partners can feel overlooked after baby loss, with their grief minimised, and a tradition of being ‘the strong one’ preventing them talking, sharing, and asking for help.

Simon is keen to use his platform to encourage men to support their partners, but to make sure they look after themselves too by opening up, talking to friends and finding ways to process grief.  

He says: “Speaking to Tommy’s about our experience doesn’t change our situation, but it might help someone else. I want to encourage people to ask questions, to explore their options. I want men to understand that, although they can’t fix it, they can work out what their strongest position is and play that, even if that’s just listening.  

“Find a way to cope with your own emotions whether that’s a beer with a mate or exercise, go for a run or a walk. For me, music helped a lot, I write about what I’m going through and put it out there in the hope it reaches others.  

“Talk about it. You won’t always find other people have the answers but, sometimes, when you’re allowed to just talk, you can find the answers inside yourself.”

Tommy’s Chief Executive Kath Abrahams says:  

“Baby loss at any stage of pregnancy is one of the most devastating experiences anyone can go through. So often long and difficult pregnancy journeys are hidden. We’re talking more, conversations are happening, but stigma around infertility or loss remains.  

“Social media can be a ‘double-edged sword’ - there’s a lot to be said for the community it can create, but for many it can be difficult to see behind curated images of seemingly perfect family lives.

“Being open about loss and fertility struggles and using a public platform to share such a painful journey takes a lot of courage but we know it can help many people feel less alone. We’re so grateful to Ayshen and Simon for sharing their story, raising awareness, and choosing to help support others in this way.”