Meet Oonagh, Research Nurse and Clinical Nurse Specialist at our Centre in Birmingham

I'm Oonagh, a Tommy’s-funded research nurse and a clinical research specialist in early pregnancy and recurrent miscarriage. I’ve been a nurse for 21 years and worked for Tommy’s for the last 7. The time has flown!

A day in the life

A typical day for my colleague Rachael and I would start with checking our clinic email inbox and seeing if we can help people out quickly. We also talk to patients over the phone and help them with prescriptions.

Then, we’ll have a list of people to see for early pregnancy reassurance scanning. We see patients who’ve been through loss before, scan them and talk through what we can see on the scan.  

It could be the pregnancy is going well, but sometimes it’s a miscarriage. When this happens, we talk to patients about what their options are and where to go next.

We'd then work on research projects funded by Tommy’s. This could be meeting with research teams and making sure projects are on track or following up directly with Tommy’s. It’s a varied role, and I love it.  

The best part of my job  

One of the best parts of my job is when there's some kind of breakthrough. We find something that is going to practically help couples going through miscarriage.  

For example, when we say, we’ve done research and what we’ve found is taking progesterone will help outcomes. Or, at the moment, we’re doing a study looking at how we look after people after each miscarriage.  

The other big thing is patient contact, and helping families have a baby safely delivered after loss.  

And sometimes the high point isn’t that someone gets a rainbow baby, it’s just knowing we were here to help during such a difficult part of their lives.

If they say, ‘you helped us through that awful time’, that's one of the best things.”  

The hardest part

I think the hardest part of my job is when we’re not able to help.  

I'm lucky I’m often the person that can help when people are at their lowest – I can arrange theatre or give someone medication. There’s something I can practically do, usually. But, if we’ve checked everything and we don’t know why the losses are happening, that’s really difficult.  

To be with people when they're desperate for help and we’ve got nothing left to give, it's awful.”  

It doesn't happen very often, as we always try to do something, but when it does, it’s hard.  

A rainbow baby

Lots of our patients use the term ‘rainbow baby’ and so I do too. It means overwhelming joy and happiness, and a big sense of relief. There's a chance that that part of your life is over, and you're not going through that desperate grief again.

What it doesn’t mean is we’ve forgotten about the miscarriages or aren’t sad about the babies that didn’t make it.  

A rainbow baby doesn’t make up for the heartbreak."

What Rainbow Baby Day means to me

To me, Rainbow Baby Day is a way to celebrate people who’ve brought home their rainbow. To see them, remember what they’ve been through to get to where they are now.  

It’s also a way of acknowledging those who haven’t got a rainbow baby, and may never have one. We want them to feel seen and let them know we’re aware there’s still work to be done.  

Families I’ve supported

I’ve seen and supported lots of families throughout my time at Tommy’s. And I think the people who stand out are those who’ve really struggled.

The ones I remember are usually the families who we’ve seen at their lowest low, who’ve had a really difficult time. And when you hear they’ve had a rainbow baby, it’s amazing.  

The biggest thing for me, it isn’t meeting the baby, it’s seeing mum again and she’s a completely different person.”

I realise when I meet families who now have a rainbow baby, that they’re completely different to the people I met before. It’s really striking.

It’s so lovely to meet these parents and see them doing well, but it doesn't wipe out what they’ve been through, or erase their grief. But it's lovely to see their personalities more.

My message to families hoping for a rainbow  

I would say, be kind to yourself and acknowledge this is really difficult place to be in.

Don't be hard on yourself if you need extra help or support from your GP, including mental health support. There are also other places that can offer support, including the Tommy’s website and clinics.  

It can be a difficult time of your life to be trying and constantly wondering whether it will be this year or next. I think sometimes it can have such an effect that people get consumed by it.

Look after yourself, because you need to be still here with us at the end and be a well person. Do whatever you can to keep yourself healthy in mind and body.”

While many people are able to have a baby by the end of their journey, it can take a while and can mean more miscarriages before this happens. Be kind and have some hope.  

How to support my work

All the work we’ve ever done, all the breakthroughs, good news, resources, things that we do for families that have helped and are helping, are only possible because of donations.  

They help us fund researchers, PhD students and professors to do the work they’re doing to filter down to make a tangible difference to people going through miscarriage.  

We’re still looking for medications and treatments to reduce the risk of miscarriage but also to improve care for those who do go through it. And that will make a huge difference to people's lives, whether they go on to have a rainbow baby or not.  

Donations are key.”